Once upon a time, a race was staged between a hare and a tortoise. No one is quite certain why it was held, although rumors abounded that the athletic directors of the two creatures were old friends. Also, the event was staged on the hare’s home course and the tortoise is said to have accepted a seven-figure payout to participate in this exhibition.
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Our friends in the desert installed the hare as a prohibitive favorite, and ESPN’s FPI (Fauna Performance Index) gave the bunny a 97.4 percent chance of winning. Nevertheless, the competition was held. No one who was not there in person saw the race, which can only mean that it aired on the Pac-12 Network. Anyway, as you might have read, the tortoise won. Some pundits believe that the hare may have been looking ahead to its upcoming race against the fox (which would air on Fox).
In the aftermath of the colossal upset, a well-respected and highly visible analyst in the sport of zoological racing declared the hare the winner. After all, he said, hares are faster than tortoises; everybody knows that. If the purpose of a race is to determine who is faster, he argued, and if we all agree that hares are faster than tortoises, then how can you claim that the tortoise won the race? If the hare and the tortoise were to compete in a hypothetical race, the analyst continued, the hare would win.
But they did compete, a few forest creatures who were in attendance countered, and the tortoise broke the tape. We actually saw it. “I don’t care!” bellowed the analyst. “If you want the faster animal, then the hare won!”
Now, it would not be fair to ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit to say that this analogy fits his perspective on Georgia versus Oklahoma (and, in terms of placement, Georgia versus Notre Dame) in the Playoff rankings. After all, Georgia did not play Oklahoma or Notre Dame head-to-head.
I can’t stand these, “Georgia is for sure one of the best 4 teams” tweets.. if winning games don’t matter let’s not play them! Let’s just rank teams as soon as they walk off the bus.
— Emmanuel Acho (@EmmanuelAcho) December 2, 2018
Nevertheless, during the first half of ABC’s ACC Championship Game yawner between Clemson and Pittsburgh on Saturday night, Herbie declared that not only would he put Georgia, which had just lost 35-28 to Alabama, into the College Football Playoff, but he’d slot them in at No. 3, one place above the Fighting Irish. Appearing after midnight on SportsCenter with Scott Van Pelt, Herbstreit ardently continued with his contrarian view. “I don’t care (that Georgia has two losses),” Herbie told Van Pelt as he stood next to Chris Fowler at Bank of America Stadium in Charlotte. “This is about the four best teams.”
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The Russians were far better hockey players than the Americans. Dan O’Brien was the world’s greatest athlete when he entered the U.S. Olympic Trials decathlon in 1992 — O’Brien no-heighted on a single pole-vault attempt and missed the Olympics altogether.
The B.S. agrees with Herbie in theory: Georgia would be favored against Ohio State, Oklahoma and Notre Dame. But is what Vegas says the final arbiter? Appearing on ESPN’s Sunday selection show, Fowler espoused an opinion with which the B.S. (and fans of the tortoise) concurs. “The results have to matter, and they have to matter a lot,” Fowler said. “If the best thing you can say about Georgia is that they played Alabama really, really tough, that’s not enough.”
We’ll give the last word to studio show host Rece Davis, who in our opinion offered the most centrist view throughout the chaos, limited as it was this autumn, of who’s in and who’s out. “At some point you have to go with what is,” Davis said Sunday afternoon, “instead of what might have happened.”
“Hey diddle diddle, let’s send a guy up the middle.”
— Fox analyst Brady Quinn, endeavoring to breathe life into an otherwise moribund Pac-12 championship game with his description of a delayed blitz
The lone touchdown in Friday night’s Pac-12 Championship Game came off a yakety-sax special. It’s the emblematic play for a conference that this season failed to field a one-loss or top-five team and saw two of its brand-name programs, UCLA and USC, finish below .500. Its showcase player, Bryce Love, rushed for roughly one-third the yardage he had in 2017, and a behind-the-scenes official, Woodie Dixon, garnered unwelcome but deserved notoriety.
Sometimes it's just not your night pic.twitter.com/RvZyetis6r
— Bryan Fischer (@BryanDFischer) December 1, 2018
Quavo becomes the first College GameDay celebrity guest picker to arrive with his own headgear for Lee Corso to wear …
— Bryan Fischer (@BryanDFischer) December 1, 2018
“I’m looking at that video of Tua and seeing that his dad is like the Hawaiian version of Joe Jackson.”
— GameDay’s Desmond Howard
That quip by Howard, comparing Galu Tagovailoa to the tyrannical patriarch of The Jackson 5, was perhaps his on-air Heisman moment of the 2018 season. Viewers will have their own opinions as to whether the culture in which Alabama’s quarterback (not to mention Jackie, Tito, Jermaine, Marlon and Michael) was raised is a healthy one, but the results speak for themselves.
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Where we thought the segment’s reporter, Tom Rinaldi, should have probed further was to reveal where Tua’s parents had found jobs upon relocating from Hawaii to Tuscaloosa. Tua himself offered that his father had left a good job to move the family en masse to Alabama; it begged the question as to whether he had found a job since and if not naming the specific company, then at least offering some transparency on the industry.
Clearly, as this screen grab illustrates, Oklahoma lined up in an illegal formation (five men in the backfield) on its first touchdown. The refs never caught it, nor did ABC’s production crew.
https://twitter.com/CoachSmothers5/status/1068936041158098944
The B.S. Wonders …At the end of the day, having been elevated at one point to No. 4 in the rankings but having lost to the best two teams they played, was Georgia simply Southern-fried Michigan? … Is there a way that Jalen Hurts can be invited to ESPN’s college football awards show Thursday night simply so that he can receive a standing ovation for how he conducted himself this season? … Did you notice that Desmond Howard changed out of his jeans and into his suit slacks after lightning warnings compelled College GameDay to move indoors? …
Did you see the montage of Staredown Kid for ESPN’s broadcast of Memphis-UCF? Granted, he’s flirting with his 16th minute of fame, but it was clever. … We’re poaching this from Bryan Fischer of College Football Talk, but why do they need five referees per Dr. Pepper Challenge? … Did America appreciate that CBS’ Jamie Erdahl interviewed Alabama coach Nick Saban after both teams took the field, then sprinted across the field and interviewed Georgia coach Kirby Smart approximately 30 seconds later? … Did anyone else notice that an undefeated “national champion” lost its starting quarterback and trailed by two touchdowns in the second half Saturday and was able to overcome those obstacles to win — in Orlando?
At the beginning of the season this fan looked like Matthew McConaughey. But it’s a long and excruciating 14 weeks …
House divided? No, man divided. pic.twitter.com/d6E16t4oHB
— Bryan Fischer (@BryanDFischer) December 1, 2018
Here’s an example of a terrific play and a keen-eyed analyst who spots it. We believe that is No. 2 for the Crimson Tide, Patrick Surtain, making a key phantom block on this first-quarter punt return. Gary Danielson of CBS noted it and praised the Tide player for making a difference and avoiding the common mistake of blocking his opponent in the back.
This is how you block without taking cheap shots pic.twitter.com/k1O60hIkep
— Steve Palazzolo (@PFF_Steve) December 1, 2018
“The one thing we know from doing that mock: (The selection committee) may be sequestered but they do have plenty of food in that room.”
— ABC’s Todd Blackledge, on the conditions the selection committee must endure during its final weekend together
The Play of the Year in college football. Not a Heisman moment, but easily to this point the most unforgettable play:
https://twitter.com/dhookstead/status/1069031101778276353
An Alabama alum chimes in on what Jalen Hurts means to his alma mater:
Jalen Hurts handprints and cleat prints should be immortalized in cement with the other legends at Denny Chimes. No matter what he decides to do next year. The attitude, humility and improvement is remarkable. Amazing story. @AlabamaFTBL
— Rece Davis (@ReceDavis) December 2, 2018
Snow plus blue carpet plus an ill-timed fireworks display made for a blurry fourth quarter in the Mountain West Conference championship game in Boise …
THERE'S A FOOTBALL GAME HAPPENING IN THERE SOMEWHERE pic.twitter.com/y4wqIzIyb2
— Yahoo Sports College Football (@YahooSportsCFB) December 2, 2018
There was compelling drama in the final moments of the Fresno State-Boise State game on the blue turf, and it had nothing to do with the Bulldogs winning there for the first time in 11 tries. Late in the fourth quarter ESPN’s cameras caught Broncos tailback Alexander Mattison being tackled hard, his helmet bouncing violently off the frozen playing surface. Mattison, an NFL-caliber talent, struggled to stand up afterward, clearly in a daze.
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To ESPN’s credit, its cameras remained on Mattison as he argued with Boise State’s training staff on the sideline. Clearly, he wanted to return to the game and clearly they wanted him to head to the medical tent. Sideline reporter Todd McShay kept viewers abreast of the developing situation and at one point analyst Brian Griese suggested, “(Boise State coach) Bryan Harsin needs to take control of this situation.”
Harsin failed to do so. Mattison returned to the game and even had another carry or two. The Broncos lost in overtime.
Granted, the weather conditions were far from ideal, and all of this was happening in the closing moments of a tightly contested conference championship game. The message to viewers, however, was that the Boise State training staff is not invested with the proper authority by the head coach. A player who had clearly suffered a concussion returned to play only moments after being knocked out of it (and yes, we are aware that at nearly the same moment boxer Tyson Fury was pulling his own Lazarus act).
The visual of Mattison defying the training staff and returning to play while no Boise State coach interceded in what was taking place tainted an otherwise thrilling finish.
(Top photo by James D. Smith via AP)
John Walters is a contributor for The Athletic. Previously, John was a staff writer at Sports Illustrated and senior writer at NBCSports.com and Newsweek. Follow John on Twitter @jdubs1966
